The Long Days and Nights of Jack and Ianto
by IantojJackh
Summary: A series of one-shots written for longliveianto bingo at LJ. All pieces take place in this newly created universe. Some chapters are T rated and others M rated, but with Jack and Ianto can you expect any less. Latest Chapter titled: Butterfly Wings
1. Gift of Life

The Long Days and Nights of Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones

**Title:** Gift of Life- First in the series of The Long Days and Nights of Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones

**Author:** DaletheChu (here) =iantojjackh (LJ)

**Rating: T** (only for this piece- Rest will prolly be closer to M rated)

**Summary:** Weevil hunting goes very wrong.

**Pairings:** Jack/Ianto

**Warnings:** Weevil violence, sex toys, foul language (Owen's in the story)

**Spoilers:** It's AU, so none really

**Authors Notes:** Bingo square fill for prompt: Gift Giving on **longliveianto**. This is the first part of a series of one-shots that will all take place in this new little 'verse created. Beta: **darkwingduckie7**. Thanks for all your help. My bingo card can be found on my livejournal

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of this. Just playing in their toy box for while. If I did, Jack and Ianto would really be living happily ever after.

* * *

**The Gift of Life**

At twenty seven years of age my life ended. Moments later it began again. Some might say it is a curse, but I look at it as a gift. This is the story of how I died and was reborn:

* * *

Weevil hunting. Unlike most nights it was not a code word for Jack and mine's special brand of _hunting. _For one, Owen was with us and, as much as he liked to boast about his sexual exploits, he said a threesome with Jack and I was hazardous to his health.

"Twisted tea-boy. Do I even want to know why those are in here?" he scowled at me when I held up the pair handcuffs and riding crop that were stored under my seat, left over from our last _hunt._ "I liked you better when you were the quietly dutiful, non-perverse, not yet corrupted by Harkness, little office boy."

"Hey!" Jack countered. "I did not corrupt him. Ianto was thoroughly twisted long before I got my hands on him. Isn't that right, darling?" Jack squeezed my knee as if he thought that would temper my urge to smack him.

Instead of punishment I decided to play along, only because I knew it would irk Owen. A devious smirk crossed my face. "That's right." There would be plenty of opportunity to pay Jack back later for calling me darling in front of the sarcastic doctor. "If Owen only knew half of what went on after he left. You know you could always stay and join us for naked hide and seek. It's always more fun with more people." I put my hand on top of Jack's and rubbed his thumb with mine. Riling Owen up had been a long favoured past time.

"Now, you are just fucking with me. Jack, make him behave," Owen sounded like a petulant child tattling to the teacher.

"Over the desk," Jack and I said in unison.

Before Owen had responded, Jack slammed on the brakes as a familiar shadow ran in front of the SUV. Our target had been located.

It was time for the hunt. Lately, the Weevils had become more brazen, coming out from the sewers with more frequency. Something had them riled up and none of us could determine the reason.

It happened too quickly for any of us to react**;** the Weevil pounced, taking me down to the ground with a sickening crash. The wind had been knocked out of me, but I recovered enough to attempt to fight it off. Then its teeth sunk into my neck, tearing the flesh to shreds.

That's when my life changed as I knew it. The pain was too great to even cry out. With every beat of my heart more blood pumped from the wound.

_Pop! Pop!_ Jack's gun went off. Kill instead of capture.

I could not remember the drive back to the hub. Owen had pressure applied to the wound that oozed blood as I drifted in and out of consciousness. My short life kept flashing before my eyes, bad memories blending with the good. Where there more bad times than good? One thing for sure, the last couple of years had been some of the very best.

"Oi, watch the bumps. You stay with us tea-boy. No one else knows how to work that fangled coffee machine." I heard the fear in his voice. That was never a good thing because Owen was always good at masking his fear.

"Sod off," I coughed. There was a gurgling sound, a sign that blood had begun to enter my lungs. It was only mere seconds more before I went unconscious again.

When I woke again, we were back in the hub. Owen was hovering and Jack was yelling.

"I already gave him two units of his own blood and two units of yours. The bleeding has stopped, but Ianto is far from out of the woods." Owen's voice reeked of desperation. I knew he was out of options and it was time to take the 'wait and see' approach.

Yes, the Torchwood blood bank, always kept a supply of the team members' blood on hand just for situations like this. And once Jack learned our blood types were compatible, he made sure there was some of his blood in stock just in case I needed it.

"Jack," I weakly called out to him. I heard the monitors go crazy.

"Fuck no." Owen and his always colourful language.

Everything started to go dark for what felt like the final time. I felt Jack's hand tightly holding mine, anchoring me to the land of the living. His voice shook as he pleaded, "Ianto, hold on. Don't you do this to me. You aren't going to be bested by a Weevil."

Then the world went black. I was surrounded by nothingness. Lost, not knowing which direction could free me from this abyss. Surely, this was not the end. I was not sure how long I travelled until I felt a force begin to pull me. At first I fought it, but soon I gave up and let myself be taken.

When the pulling stopped I found myself on a hard cold steel table, the autopsy table by the feel of it. Something did not feel right. I knew I should be in pain from the gaping neck wound, but there was no pain to be felt. I wondered if I was dead and this was my spirit's final moments on Earth, giving me a few moments to say goodbye. Yet, I was not floating away, but a heavy weight pressed down on my chest.

I decided to open my eyes and saw Jack laying across me, sobbing almost uncontrollably. "Jack. Jack. Oi, you need to get up. I really have to pee." And at that moment I really needed to and I tried to push him off.

To my left, two glasses crashed to the ground shattering into infinite pieces. The smell of the alcohol once contained in them filled the room. "I'm not cleaning that." I turned my head to see Owen doing his best impression of a fish.

Jack lifted his head and looked at me, his eyes red and swollen from crying. "How?"

"How what?" I was not sure what was going on. "How long was I unconscious for?"

"Mate, you weren't unconscious. You died." Owen now fixed his gaze on Jack. "What did you do? You didn't have another glove around, did you? Please say you didn't. Not again." He wanted to say not another Suzie and I looked at Jack hoping that was not the case.

"I swear I didn't." Jack held up his hands in the air, claiming innocence. "I haven't moved..." I knew that look well. Jack had an idea and reached for the bandage on my neck.

Owen began to protest, "Jack don't..." His mouth imitated a fish again. For, when Jack removed the bandage, there was no sign of the Weevil bite. There was a lot of dried blood, but the skin was unmarred.

* * *

And that is the story of how Jack gave me the gift of life. None of us knew that a transfusion of his blood passed along his immortality. It has been a transition, getting used to my new status. Jack has been more open with his feelings since I've become immortal because he knows he will never have to say goodbye. He hasn't said it directly, but I know him better than he knows himself. His eyes and actions say it all. Though he doesn't like it when I remind him that I will be forever younger than him.


	2. Boredom: Hub Style

** Title**: Boredom: Hub Style

**Author**: DaletheChu-iantojjackh

**Rating**: M with a prompt like this one can you expect anything less

**Summary**: Rift activity is nil and everyone gets a little bored...maybe a lot. How else would Jack and Ianto alleviate their boredom?

**Pairings**: Jack/Ianto

**Warnings**: suggestive sexual themes

**Spoilers**: It's AU, so none really

**Authors Notes**: Bingo square fill for prompt: Phone sex and cyber sex on longliveianto. Second one-shot in the verse of The Long Days and Nights of Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones. Beta: None this time around.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own any of this. Just playing in their toy box for while. If I did, Jack and Ianto would really be living happily ever after.

* * *

**Boredom: Hub Style **

Rift activity had practically dropped off to zero and everyone was itching for something to happen. Anything at all. A non-hostile lost alien would be welcomed to break the monotony of the dull days.

Owen watched porn at his computer station until Jack came up behind him and informed him that his so-called favourite porn star was really a shape shifter from a planet of hermaphroditic humanoid cow-pigs.

"Hedi doesn't cause any problems so we just let her stay. Plus, no human is that flexible. Except maybe Ianto." Jack said with a wild smirk.

"That just ruins it. Thanks for nothing, Jack," Owen whined as he closed out the browser. It was one of those things you wished you could unhear, but the damage was already done. He was turned off from porn for good, which was a shame. At least in Owen's mind.

"Glad I could help," Jack grinned and slapped Owen's back. "I'll be in my office if you need me to ruin anything else." The team leader bound up the stairs to his office, looking for a distraction. Maybe Ianto would follow soon and they could easily erase the boredom together.

Owen growled in frustration after Jack disappeared and turned an icy glare to Ianto. "You need to do something about him. A bored Jack is trouble for all of us. Entertain him. I'll buy you two cases of that expensive beer you like." Bribery was not beneath him.

Ianto rolled his eyes at Owen. He was temped to ignore Jack because as much as he loved the man, Jack was beyond incorrigible when he was bored. The annoyed archivist was about to put in some face time at the visitor's centre when his computer dinged.

* * *

**Captain007**: What are you wearing?

**TwistedTeaBoy**: Is this a joke?

**Captain007**: No. Answer the question.

**TwistedTeaBoy**: We came in together this morning. I'm wearing the same thing I was when we left home.

**Captain007**: Come on don't be Cranky!Ianto.

**TwistedTeaBoy**: You did not just say that. I'm not cranky. I don't see the point in silly questions.

**Captain007**: What is silly about it?

**TwistedTeaBoy**: You can look outside your office and see for yourself in case your old brain forgot. You've only been in your office a few moments.

**Captain007**: Does that mean you are wearing nothing and your perfectly shaped arse is ripe for squeezing?

**TwistedTeaBoy**: No. *rolls eyes* Gwen and Tosh are here and Owen is complaining about the Great Porn Destruction. Seriously, shape-shifting hermaphroditic humanoid cow-pigs? How daft is he?

**Captain007**: I'm serious. Don't roll your eyes at me. You know how that turns me on.

**TwistedTeaBoy**: I highly doubt it. That's bizarre even for Torchwood. Is there anything I do that doesn't turn you on?

**Captain007**: I'm hurt that you think I'm always horny.

**TwistedTeaBoy**: Do I need to remind you that our shower made us almost an hour late this morning?

**Captain007**: No. I clearly remember all those vivid details. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you were the one initiated it. I was innocent Ole' Jack.

**TwistedTeaBoy**: Innocent this time.

**Captain007**: Do you want to know what I'm thinking?

TwistedTeaBoy: I have a feeling that you are going to tell me anyway. Owen is looking over at me, thinking I'm actually working. He's calling me teacher's pet.

**Captain007**: Well, there was that one time with the leash. I'm imagining your cock in my mouth, sucking it. My hands fondling your balls, waiting for your arse cheeks to clench when you're about to come. Close your eyes and imagine it. My warm wet mouth around you. Your fingers tangled in my hair. Your eyes closed and your head titled back, moaning my name like I'm a god. Jackkkkkkkkk. Oh, Jackkkkkkk.

* * *

Ianto groaned as he read the message, his knees hitting the top of the table. The crotch of his trousers, feeling very tight at the moment. _Damn you Jack 'I'm too sexy' Harkness. _

* * *

**Captain007**: I saw that, Jones. Why don't you come up here so we can address your growing problem. I bet you will soon beg me to sweep you off your feet and do very naughty things to that heavenly body of yours.

**TwistedTeaBoy**: Or I can take care of myself right here. I'm sitting just right so no one can see, not even you on CCTV.

**Captain007**: You wouldn't. That's not fair.

**TwistedTeaBoy**: Just you watch. Oh, wait, you can't. There is something exciting about doing this in front of everyone. I'm so hard Jack and it's all because of you. With every stroke I imagine the look on your face, knowing you aren't allowed to touch. How does that make you feel? How hard are you? I wonder which one of us will finish first.

* * *

"What the hell was that?" Gwen jumped as she heard a crash from Jack's office. She exchanged worried looks with Tosh and Owen. When she looked at Ianto, the immortal man was smirking. The rest of the team exchanged silent groans, not wanting to think what trouble the couple was up to.

* * *

**TwistedTeaBoy**: Does someone need a spanking for making a mess? I can see it now. You bent over your desk and I hit you with my hand over and over. Your arse red and raw, sore but begging for more. Just when you are crying out for one more hit, I'll deny your request. Then my fingers will trace over the reddened skin with feather light touches, teasing you. My tongue flicks your ear lobe before my mouth slowly moves to your neck where I leave my mark. By then you will be begging me to take you. Your knees are trembling because you are so close to the edge, but you need one more thing to push you over. Then I'll take my rock hard...

* * *

Ianto took a break from typing (deliberately leaving his last message hanging) to get himself a cup of coffee, knowing it will rile Jack up more than he is already. He looked towards his lover's office to see his reaction, if there was one to be hand. And there was.

Jack appeared at the window of his office, his face tense with a hint of longing. Clearly he was not happy at where Ianto left his last message and the sly smirk and eyebrow raise Ianto gave pushed Jack over the edge. His hand slapped against the glass, startling everyone.

"IANTO! MY OFFICE NOW!" Jack ordered.

"Lunch?" Owen asked the women, knowing that once Ianto went to Jack's office none of them wanted to be anywhere near the show that was about to unfold.

Gwen and Tosh grabbed their purses and raced out the door, closely followed by Owen.

"Is there something you wanted, sir?" Ianto had taken his time walking up to Jack's office, still slowly sipping his coffee. A bemused smirk crossed his face seeing that Jack had his trousers and boxers around his ankles, sporting a full erection.

"So not funny to leave me like this," Jack whimpered.

"Can you ever forgive me?" Ianto asked playfully, setting his mug down and sauntering over to his other half. "Can you?" he asked again, this time his lips barely an inch away from Jack's.

"Depends on what you can do for..." Jack lost his train of thought when Ianto's soft hands came in contact with his hard member.

Their lips fused together and soon began to play out their words from the instant messages. And were still at it when, unbeknownst to them, the trio returned from lunch two hours later.


	3. TeaBoy Takes Control

**Title:** Tea-Boy Takes Control  
**Author: ****iantojjackh****  
Rating: **M for adult themes  
**Pairing/Characters: **Jack/Ianto, the whole team makes an appearance  
**Warning/Spoilers: ** None

**Summary: **Ianto grows tired of the annoying habits of his teammates and decides to take control... Or does he  
**Notes**: Written for the prompt habits/routines for ******longliveianto** bingo also came from an old ******comment_fic** prompt- Ianto, and then shall the butlers and teaboys overthrow their overlords and rule the world (or in this case the hub). I just got back from vacation today and have loads to catch up on.

* * *

**Tea-Boy Takes Control**

When the team returned to the hub they scratched their heads at the sign taped to the cog door. Not literally, but you get the picture. They were confused at what it was doing there and began to question the sanity of the youngest member of their team. Of course it was written in the distinct and impeccably perfect writing of their favourite archivist. The title of favourite might not hold for much longer because the posting.

* * *

_**The One Who Makes the Coffee Rules the Hub AKA Ianto's Rules and Punishments to Make a Harmonious Hub**_

_1. No feeding Myfanwy any foods not on the approved food list which are now posted by her nest. Any infractions will result in the guilty party scrubbing her pen with a toothbrush. _

_2. You break it, you fix it. Especially when dismantling one thing to fix another. Failure to abide will depend on the infraction. _

_3. No food or drink and even lube should be bought into the archives. Punishment for breaking this rule will result in losing archive access or sex privileges for a week. _

_4. Touch the coffee machine and there will be broken fingers (joking...or am I?) and no coffee for all Torchwood employees for three days._

_5. Weevils are not kept in the cells for our amusement. Janet does not like seeing a scrawny arse pressed against the glass. Bring drunk is no excuse. Punishment is wearing a pair of chaps with the arse cheek area exposed. Yes, Owen I'm talking about you._

_6. Do not leave food in the SUV. Especially anything with peanuts. I may be immortal, but it doesn't make anaphylactic shock any less painful. Unless you want to be doing my job and yours for a week, then you know what is required._

_7. The kitchen sink is not to be used to wash out undergarments, especially brassieres and knickers. It is unsanitary and scary to think that someone thinks this is acceptable practices. We have laundry facilities for a reason. Next time this happens, said garments will be sold on eBay to fund future purchases of coffee beans. _

_8. Never press a button if you are not sure what it does. You will have to clean up the mess you make. It took me a week to get the smell of rotting fish from my hands. I was not happy and neither was Jack._

_9. No sneaking up behind me while I'm in the archives. It's hard to hear down there and as Jack and Owen can attest to, I've trained for years in ninjutsu. I cannot be held responsible for any injuries._

_10. This is an office and we shall all act like adults. The autopsy bay is the new timeout corner. Snack time will be revoked for childish behaviour. _

_11. Everyone will write their own reports. Just because the word 'office support' is in my job description it doesn't mean you can push your work onto me. I'm fluent in several languages and if you don't want your report done in other language then do it yourself. However bribery is not beneath me. You just have to come up with a suitable bribe and only one person has come up with an acceptable form of payment._

_12. If the door to Jack's office is closed and the shades are drawn, then there is a good reason for it. It's not our fault you saw what you did and you have no right to complain about what you liken to mental scarring. _

_13. Any questions or problems with these rules, please send an email to im_a_whinger .uk and it will be answered in the order it was received or in the order of least annoyance. _

* * *

"What did you do, Jack?" Owen tore the sign down and slapped it their boss' chest.

"Nothing. Why does it have to be me?" Jack frowned and studied the note, hiding the budding smile.

"I think the message is clear: The one who makes the coffee rules the hub. Do I need to read the rest?" Gwen gave an accusatory glare.

"There are rules directed at all of us," Jack countered and handed the list to Tosh. "You talk to him?" He looked hopeful and offered his most irresistible pout.

"I'm not getting between your domestic. Plus, I don't want want to be put on decaf or worse...instant permanently." Tosh returned the new hub rules back to Jack.

"You've given Ianto too much power and it's gone to to his head. Get him mad and he's your responsibility." Gwen did not want any part of this and she did not want to be punished by Ianto either. Caffeine punishment was almost a death sentence in the hub and bringing in outside coffee will only prolong the punishment. It was hard to go back to normal coffee once you had one of Ianto's special blends.

"Man up, Harkness and deal with the monster you've created," Owen saw the look of fear on Jack's face and started to laugh. "Ianto hits you on both sides, doesn't he? Withholds coffee and sex when you get on his bad side. How often do you get on tea-boy's bad side? The tea-boy has overthrown the master."

"Less than you think," Jack folded the paper and tucked in into his shirt pocket. "I'll talk to Ianto. Why don't you three head home early."

There was no need to say anymore as Owen ran out before Jack could finish his statement and Gwen and Tosh quickly grabbed their purses before Jack changed his mind. None of them wanted to bear witness to what ever was about to happen, going home for the day was the only option.

Once Jack was satisfied everyone was gone, he called out for the devilish Ianto, "You win. You can come out now, Ianto."

"Ianto?" Jacked called out a minute later, after getting no response.

"Right here." The voice appeared almost out of thin air.

The sudden warm breath against his neck and the rough caress of a tongue behind Jack's ear, caused the immortal man to break into a sweat and his heart to race. "Shit. Don't scare me like that." Jack's voice shook with sudden and intense arousal.

"Tell me again how I won?" Ianto whispered, blowing hot air against Jack's sweat moistened skin.

"I never thought you'd really post those rules we made up. Though I think editing them should be grounds for forfeit." Jack said with a slight moan. He swore Ianto purposely punctuated his vowels in an erotic manner just to mess with him and it was working.

"Don't think so, Jack. I won. Time to pay up. I won the bet fair and square. You owe me one full body massage, dinner and you have to clean the hub in that maid outfit. Don't think you are going to get out of this. Failure to pay on the bet will result in harsh penalties." Ianto was in total control and to demonstrate his power, he slid his hand into the front of Jack's trousers and cupped his hard cock through...well nothing. There was nothing between his trousers and naked skin. "Naughty. Naughty," Ianto purred into Jack's ear.

"Punish away, oh, Master of the Hub." Jack ground his hips against Ianto's soft hand.

"Be bent over your desk in three minutes and have the blindfold and lube ready."

Those were a set of orders Jack would always be willing to obey. And in an attempt to make teacher proud, Jack was a whole half minute early.

Gwen regretted coming back three hours later to pick up the pair of boots she bought earlier in the week and forgot to bring home. There were some things that could never be unseen and she would never look at jelly and whipped cream the same way ever again.


	4. Peaceful Night's Sleep

**Title**: A Peaceful Night's Sleep?

**Author**: **iantojjackh**

**Beta**: **tardisjournal**

**Pairing**: Jack/Ianto

**Rating**: PG-13

**Summary**: When the boys have trouble sleeping, what will help put them to sleep?

**Notes**: Written for the prompt 'sleeping arrangements' at longliveianto bingo. Part of the Long Days and Nights of Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones series aka My Immortal!Ianto series.

* * *

**A Peaceful Night's Sleep?**

Ianto had just drifted to sleep after many hours tossing and turning in the guest bedroom, when he was awoken by an elbow to his shoulder. The bed was uncomfortable as it is and a second body in the small bed didn't help matters any.

"Make up your mind already." The words were harsh, but he had had a grand total of six hours sleep the past four nights and the crankiness slipped through despite an attempt not to.

"Bed's not comfortable without you." Jack pouted, and reached for Ianto's hand. He knew he had been more than difficult to live with the last week and Ianto had put up with a lot, but it looked like the normally very calm man was reaching a breaking point.

"That's not what you said earlier," Ianto spoke through a loud yawn. "You said it was too small for both of us and this bed is even smaller than our bed. Jack, I really need some sleep. We both need all the sleep we can get before next week."

Ianto tried reasoning with his lover, but these days that was like trying to talk to a blind man using sign language.

"But I can't sleep. There is no position that is comfortable. Can I beg you for a back massage? I'll love 'til the day you die if you do." Jack said with a distinct whine.

Ianto sighed, knowing it would be pointless to resist. Once Jack starting pouting, he was like putty in his lover's hand.

"Let's go back to our room then." He offered his hands to help Jack out of bed. It took all his willpower not to make a comment about how heavy Jack was now. Cranky Ianto was a force to be reckoned with, especially when coupled with cranky Jack.

"You are a lifesaver, Ianto Jones. And had you denied me the massage you would have got a sty in your eye." Jack leaned in for a kiss the best he could manage.

"Oi, you're crazy, you know that? First off that is an old wive's tale: Deny a pregnant woman food and you get a sty in your eye. Second, that happens if I deny you food, not a massage; and third, you are not a woman. Most importantly, I did not deny you anything." Ianto carefully pointed out the inaccuracies of Jack's statement.

The only thing Jack had gotten right was the pregnant part. Jack was pregnant with a little girl named Brynn who would be welcomed into the world next week. An adorable little girl who already had both her Daddies wrapped around her little finger.

"See, Brynn agrees that a massage is good for me." Jack smirked as he placed Ianto's hand on his bulging stomach.

"That's not fair," Ianto whined as he felt movement under his hand. "You both are ganging up on me."

Despite the whine there was a fond smile on the soon-to-be father's face. Life couldn't be better for the young man. For once everything was as it should be; he was with the person who he loved with his whole heart and who loved him just as much, and they were about to welcome their first child together into the world.

"And we both love you very much." Jack knew the way to make way to make Ianto's foul moods disappear.

"Hormones making you sentimental, Jack?" Ianto teased as he leaned against the pregnant man.

"Happened before that," Jack knew Ianto was joking, but he wanted to answer seriously.

"When I realized forever really means forever with us, I didn't have to hide behind my fear anymore." Perhaps the hormones were making Jack more sentimental than he normally would have allowed to show, but the couple was also in the privacy of their own home.

"Besides it took a very special someone for me to go through this pregnancy thing again." His hand came to rest on top of the hand Ianto still had on his stomach.

Ianto felt his eyes well up when Jack talked as if he was so sure that there would always be a "them".Three years had passed since that fateful night with the Weevil and sometimes it was difficult fathom that Jack would never be forced to watch him grow old.

"Are you going to let me sleep in the same bed as you for the next week or am I going to have to make other arrangements?" It gave Ianto peace of mind to be so close if something were to go wrong on the middle of the night, not to mention that he was used to sleeping next to the handsome captain.

"I think I can make an exception for the man who knocked me up." Jack smirked and waited for the magical hands of Ianto Jones to do one of the things they did best.


	5. Karaoke Night

**Title**: Ianto vs. the Karaoke Machine

**Author**: ******iantojjackh**

**Summary**: Ianto tries to turn the tables on karaoke night, but ends up having a revelation of his own.

**Rating**: M for sexually suggestive themes

**Pairing/ Characters**: Jack/Ianto and team

**Spoilers**: None

**Warnings**: None besides what is in the rating

**Note**: Written for ******longliveianto**bingo prompt: Karaoke and cottoncandybingo (DW) prompt: serenading someone. This is the 5th piece of The Long Days and Nights of Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones aka Immortal!Iatno

**Disclaimer**: Characters don't belong to me. The song isn't mine either. They all belong to their proper creators and such.

* * *

**Ianto vs. the Karaoke Machine**

Ianto shot daggers with his eyes at Gwen from across the table, imagining a cartoon anvil falling from the sky and hitting her head followed by the stars that circled the victim's head. Of course, it was her idea to have a team night out to a karaoke bar and Jack was all too eager to agree it was a good idea. The rift had been quiet for days and Gwen thought everyone could use a morale boost.

Owen shared the same sentiment as Ianto and they shared a low groan as Gwen and Tosh yapped about what songs they wanted to sing.

"Smile you two. It won't hurt you," Gwen tried to lighten the mood that the two grumpy men were bringing to the party.

"Come on. Relax and have some fun." Tosh tried to draw Ianto and Owen from their irate moods. "Besides, Ianto, you look really cute out of a suit." She flinched when she the scowl on the young man's face. It had been meant as a compliment, but it served to make the Welshman's mood worse.

"I got IDed when I got here. They didn't believe that I'm twenty-seven. That's one of the reasons I like wearing suits. I don't get questioned on how old I am and now I'll look like this forever. It's not as fun as it seems." Ianto pouted. He was still getting used to the fact that he was now immortal and would hardly age over the next few thousand years.

"Sorry, Ianto," Tosh apologized. She always thought it was good to look younger than you really were, but it might be not be so good if you didn't age. It was only a month since the weevil attack and it was obvious Ianto was still having problems adjusting.

"Cute doesn't suit Ianto. Sexy, dashing, scrumptious are better descriptions." Jack reached over Ianto and placed two glasses scotch on the table. The captain ran his hands teasingly down Ianto's arms and slid his hands into the back pockets of the younger man's jeans, glad that he was sitting at a stool that allowed such unfettered access.

"So says the man with his hands on my arse." Ianto said as he leaned back and looked up at his partner. "You know you are so sleeping alone tonight, right?" The look in his eye left no room for joking around.

Jack did not like those plans. "What did I do?" He leaned down to place a quick kiss on the obviously angry man's lips, hoping to kiss away some of the anger.

"We are here for one and two you are making yourself look like a pedophile by hitting on baby-faced Twisted Tea-boy," Owen twisted his lips into a wry grin.

Ianto quickly downed the scotch that was his. "He bribed me to wear this."

Owen held up his hands and shook his head, "I don't need to hear the details. I haven't forgotten the handcuffs and riding crop you two keep in the SUV."

"What?" Gwen jumped into the conversation. "You said the handcuffs were to detain Weevils."

Ianto looked at Jack and rolled his eyes and snickered at Gwen gullibility. "They are black with satin covering."

"Seriously," Gwen rolled her eyes. "You two are something else." She wondered if any surface of the hub had not been used for their sexual exploits. Apparently, now the SUV was not safe either.

"It's his pheromones."

"It's his voice."

Neither man took the shared responsibility of their shenanigans and squarely placed it on the other.

As the evening progressed, Gwen and Tosh took turns sing several songs each as the men continued to drink.

Ianto, still peeved about things, ignored the advances Jack made. When the frisky immortal's hand started to stroke his crotch, Ianto put an end to the games. "If you keep that up you will be sleeping at the hub while I sleep at my flat." He had originally planned to punish Jack by banishing him to the couch in his flat, but if he did not behave in public, the punishment was going to be more severe.

After some minor prodding, Jack finally decided to partake in the evening festivities. Ianto groaned and buried his head into his hands at the man's song choice.

The song choice did not surprise Ianto in the slightest and he could only think of lyrics from another song, 'You're so vain. You probably think this song is about you.' Jack insisted once that Billy Joel wrote Captain Jack about him and Ianto continued to let Jack believe it.

"That only leaves the both of you." Tosh and Gwen took turns needling Ianto and Owen into singing.

"I'd rather have a root canal than get up there and make a fool of myself," Owen crossed his arms in defiance. No amount of pleading was going to get the medic on stage.

"Fine!" Ianto sighed with heavy exasperation. "If it will stop your incessant whining I'll do it." He turned away from Gwen and Tosh to hide the evil smirk that started to blossom. Ianto never was forced into anything he did not want to do. So he had a plan to make sure an evening like this would never happen again (or make sure he wasn't involved) and if he angered Jack and Gwen in the process, it would be an added bonus.

Ianto walked toward the makeshift stage, ruffling up his hair in an attempt to look more appealing and perhaps a bit younger. He leaned over and whispered something to the person running the karaoke machine and the selection began to play.

Ianto turned back to where the team was and gave them a sly smile.

"He's up to something," Owen wondered what was going on in the mysterious mind of Ianto. Whatever it was, it was not good.

Jack agreed with Owen, wondering what his wily lover had in store for the performance he was about to put on. The captain knew he was going to end up angry, jealous or seriously turned on. Though, he suspected it would probably be some combination of all three.

_I made it through the wilderness_

_Somehow I made it through_

_Didn't know how lost I was_

_Until I found you_

Ianto sang the first verse as if he was shy, nervous and innocent. Everything he was far from. No one, not even Jack, knew he could sing. Ianto would never put himself in the position to make a total fool of himself like most that attempted to sing tonight. He slightly swayed to the music, playing up his youthful looks.

_I was beat incomplete_

_I'd been had, I was sad and blue_

_But you made me feel_

_Yeah, you made me feel_

_Shiny and new_

Ianto's attention was directed solely at Jack. Until this moment he did not realize how perfectly the words fit them. It was such an accurate description of their early relationship. After Lisa, Ianto had been at the lowest point of his life and the one person he betrayed the most, helped him through the darkest days and from there grew the greatest love he would ever experience. A love now sealed for eternity. 'Tame the fluffy thoughts.' Ianto told himself. Warm fuzzy thoughts were not going to get the job done.

_Like a virgin_

_Touched for the very first time_

_Like a virgin_

_When your heart beats Next to mine_

This was the time to let the games begin. Ianto unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. Soon followed by the second and hands fondled the newly exposed skin. His hips trusted to the beat of the music. For this part he did not seek out Jack's eyes, fearing he would not be able to hold a straight face.

_Gonna give you all my love, boy_

_My fear is fading fast_

_Been saving it all for you_

_'Cause only love can last_

_You're so fine and you're mine_

_Make me strong, yeah you make me bold_

_Oh your love thawed out_

_Yeah, your love thawed out_

_What was scared and cold_

Over the next two verses, Ianto regretted his song choice. He had picked the song, thinking he could rile his lover up with with the chorus, but he never thought how true the verses were to his own life.

Ianto's eyes momentarily locked with Jack, causing his breath to get caught in the back of his throat. The pure unadulterated love caused the surrounding air to become almost electrified. He needed to look away before he ran off stage and snogged the love of his life senseless.

_Like a virgin_

_Touched for the very first time_

_Like a virgin_

_With your heartbeat_

_Next to mine_

_Oooh, oooh, oooh_

Ianto tore his gaze reluctantly from the almost magnetic man and closed his eyes so he would not be tempted to look. A few more buttons was undone from his shirt, revealing a slightly hairy but well toned chest. Now his hips swayed to the music as one hand slowly moved though his hair and the other cupped his manhood. Ianto knew this was not him. This was all an act. He and Jack have role played before and this was no different.

_'Just tilt your head back and imaged Jack's mouth on your body and moan.'_ And what a delicious and salacious moan it was.

_You're so fine and you're mine_

_I'll be yours 'till the end of time_

_'Cause you made me feel_

_Yeah, you made me feel_

_I've nothing to hide_

To the end of time. Ianto doubted anyone really meant literally to the end of time when they wrote that line. There is always something to hide. No one tells someone everything about them. Everyone has secrets.

_Like a virgin_

_Touched for the very first time_

_Like a virgin_

_With your heartbeat_

_Next to mine_

_Like a virgin, ooh, ooh_

_Like a virgin_

_Feels so good inside_

_When you hold me, and your heart beats, and you love me_

_'Feels good inside. Yes, just imagine Jack inside of you._' Ianto thought to himself. His movements mirrored Ianto's thoughts. The way their bodies moved in perfect synchronization. Molded together, matching thrust for thrust. Moving faster and faster until the powerful release rocked his body, crying out in ecstasy with energy completely spend.

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh_

_Ooh, baby_

Ianto made sure the last lines were moaned out as pornographically as possible, with his head tilted back and his eyes closed as his hands ran sensually down the front of his shirt and slipped into where Ianto had unbuttoned it, making it appear his hand slipped into the front of his jeans. His hips rolled in the most suggestive way, giving the front row quite a show.

After the song was finished, the small crowd at the bar burst into applause. Ianto looked over to where the rest of the team was and the look on Jack's face said that he had accomplished what he had hoped to. Owen just shook his head as he laughed and the girls had their mouths opened open shock.

Ianto made his way back to the table, careful to hide how turned on he was. He ignored several men and woman that tried to get his attention. Ianto did not stop until he reached his destination.

Jack was a jumble of emotions. The foremost, he wondered what that whole performance was about. It was very un-Ianto like. At least the way he acted in public. Then there was the jealousy. Jack saw the way the people took to Ianto, getting ready to pounce if he let them.

The jealousy bought up the inklings of insecurity. Sure, Ianto was young and very attractive and he would remain very young and attractive forever. Jack did not need reassurance about his looks, but he had to wonder if one day Ianto would tire of him and seek someone younger.

Those negative thoughts vanished the moment he felt the telltale bump pressed into his back and those beautiful Welsh vowels suggest with great want and need, the one thing he could never say no to.

"Take me home, Jack."


	6. One Night in a Dark Alley

**Title**: One Night in Dark Alley

**Author**: ******iantojjackh**

**Rating**: PG

**Summary**: Jack flirts. He doesn't snog and grope the nearest freak

**Characters**: Tosh, Gwen, Jack and Ianto  
**Spoilers**: None. This is an AU world

**Warnings**: What can go wrong in a dark alley?

**Beta**: ******badly_knitted**. Thank you for taking the time to help me. Much appreciated.

**Notes**: Next in the series of the Long Days and Nights of Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones. The series is not posted in chronological order, the master list and timeline of the series is posted in my journal. Also, this is a fill for ******longliveianto** bingo. The prompt it fills is listed at the end.

* * *

**One Night in a Dark Alley**

Gwen and Tosh stood in the shadows, their mouths wide open with mutual shock. They could not believe what they were watching, but at the same time they could not tear their eyes away.

Jack was in an alley next to the pub they just exited, getting hot and heavy with some gothic vampire wanna-be. Tosh covered her eyes when she saw the fangs lightly press into Jack's neck and slide to the base of his throat were the mysterious person lapped the exposed flesh with his tongue like a kitten to milk.

"How could he do this to Ianto?" Gwen gasped, anger coursing through her body.

The creature _attacking_ Jack was the total opposite of what Ianto was. He was dressed in leather pants easily two sizes too small, a spiked dog collar around his neck, face painted with something for maximum paleness, black lips and nails, dark hair spiked with too much gel, platform boots with spiked studs on the sides and last but not least a sleeveless leather shirt with leather studded arm bands. It was something straight out of a bondage fantasy.

Tosh was never more livid with Jack than at this moment. Her face flushed with anger and she clenched her fists. This was going to break Ianto's heart. She could just picture how devastated her friend would be. Tosh knew it would be best if a friend broke the news to Ianto instead of word getting back to him by way of gossip.

"I can't believe he's enjoying this." Gwen watched as Jack fiddled with the dog collar, grinning like a fool. The man was obviously thinking with the wrong head. "Jack flirts. He doesn't snog and grope the nearest freak."

"I'm going to put a stop to this." Tosh said in a moment of boldness. There was a fire in her veins that made her want to punch Jack in the face.

Gwen held Tosh back. "I don't think this is the place for a confrontation." She wanted to smack Jack around a bit as well. Gwen had to grit her teeth when she saw Jack grope the vamp's crotch and start to go for the man's zipper.

They watched Jack pout as his hand was batted away and he was apparently scolded for his actions.

The pout did not last long as the strange man whispered something into Jack's ear that he seemed to enjoy. Then he squeezed their boss' back side and took off.

They witnessed Jack get in a quick slap of the man's arse before he followed the mysterious new man in his life.

Once the men were out of sight, Tosh pulled out her mobile and dialed Ianto's number, which went right to voicemail. "Ianto, it's Tosh. Can you give me a call as soon as you get this message?"

"Did Ianto say what he was doing tonight?" Gwen fidgeted as the anger made her jumpy. "I can't believe Jack is going to throw away everything he has with Ianto."

"And they were going to start looking for a flat together this weekend." Tosh said sadly. She tried Ianto again and the call went straight to voice mail. "Call me please. It's important." She left another message.

Gwen had the idea to try Jack, but his phone went to voice mail too. "Jack's not answering either."

"Let's go back to the hub so I can track both their last known locations." Tosh suggested. "Hopefully they will turn the phones back on by the time we get there." Tosh still was torn. How was she going to break her friend's heart? Maybe it was a one time thing and they could knock some sense into Jack and Ianto would not have to know. The grey areas always proved difficult to handle.

"Maybe we don't have to tell Ianto." Gwen voiced what Tosh had been thinking. "Maybe knock some sense into Jack's thick skull."

"But this is Ianto. We can't let him get hurt." Tosh said softly.

Everyone wanted to protect Ianto because he was the youngest on the team, but everyone always seemed to forget that after Jack he was the one who had seen and gone through the most horrifics times. He was far from the fragile creature they wanted to protect.

After twenty minutes of debating what to do; tell Ianto or confront Jack, the girls decided that they would confront Jack and make him spill the truth to Ianto. It was then up to Ianto to deal with Jack as he saw fit.

But when Gwen and Tosh returned to the hub they were met with a scene they did not expect, yet it almost seemed like poetic justice.

Jack had each hand handcuffed to the ratty couch under the Torchwood sign in such a manner that he was splayed with arms stretched out. Around his neck was the spiked dog collar the vampire man had on earlier. Strewn about the floor were the various leather pieces of clothing that Jack's indiscretion had been wearing.

"Serves you right." Gwen said with a satisfied smirk as she watched Jack struggle against his bonds. For now she would revel in the bout that karma had won.

"You are something else, Jack Harkness." Tosh admonished, her eyes showing her deep disappointment in them.

"Excuse me?" Jack asked, feeling very confused. He looked around for any clue as to where the feisty man who did this to him was. The immortal's wrists were red where he had struggled against the cuffs and his pants uncomfortably wet. If there was any dignity left to be lost it was gone when Tosh snickered, looking at the stain on the front of his pants.

"How could you do this to Ianto?" Both women yelled as they each punched a shoulder.

"Ow," Jack winced as he was helpless to defend himself. "Do what? What about what he did to me? He riles me up and just leaves to take a shower. How's that fair?"

"Sorry, I didn't expect anyone to come back." Ianto suddenly appeared out of nowhere, holding two glasses of scotch and fresh from a shower. He placed the glasses on the table in front on the couch. "Sorry it took so long. The gel took forever to get out." The grinning Welshman kissed the top of Jack's head and unlocked the handcuffs binding him to the couch.

Ianto placed a kiss on the reddened flesh of his lover's wrists. "Make it up to you when they are gone," he whispered with a telling smirk. Their night was far from over.

"Everything okay?" Tosh asked as she turned her attention to younger immortal who looked remarkably calm and not at all angry as she expected him to be.

"Why wouldn't it be?" Ianto flashed a big smile, showing off the fangs he still wore.

**The End!**

**End A/N:** The prompt this filled was Mistaken Identity. There will eventually be a piece to explain why Ianto was dressed in all the leather.


	7. Green is One of the Colours of Rainbow

**Title**: Green is One of the Colours of the Rainbow

**Author**: ******iantojjackh**

**Summary**: This was not the first time today that Ianto had snuck up on Owen and stared with a beady expression.

**Characters**: Jack/Ianto and Owen

**Beta**: ******darkwingduckie7**- the idea for this piece was hers and she helped make sure everything was in line

**Spoilers**: None. This is my own little universe here

**Warnings**:

**Notes**: Next in the series of the Long Days and Nights of Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones. The series is not posted in chronological the master list and timeline of the series is posted at my LJ . Also, this is a fill for ******longliveianto** bingo's jealousy prompt.

* * *

**Green is One of the Colours of the Rainbow**

Owen jumped when he saw the blue eyes staring at him. "Geez Ianto, how long have you been standing there?" This was not the first time today that Ianto had snuck up on Owen and stared with a beady expression. It had become a regular game the two men played for a couple of weeks.

"Just wanted to bring you this." Ianto handed over a steaming mug of coffee. "Enjoy." The faintest hint of an evil smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.

Owen grabbed the mug and murmured a half-hearted thank you. To be honest the medic was slightly scared of the young immortal the last couple of weeks. Ianto had been more stealthy than usual and would suddenly appear at the oddest moments, always holding a mug of coffee. What really bothered him was the odd looks and sneers he received from the Welshman.

"What the hell, Ianto." Owen spat out the drink he had been served. It was vinegar masquerading as coffee.

"Something wrong?" Ianto asked, looking timid and innocent. It was all an act, a hint of something at the corner of his eye gave it away.

"This is vinegar."

"It is? Sorry about that. I just cleaned the machine I must not have flushed all the vinegar out. My mistake. Do you want a fresh cup?"

'Mistake my arse.' Owen thought. Ianto never made mistakes like that. It was obviously deliberate and the doctor had an idea why. Jealousy was very unbecoming on Ianto.

The new and sometimes disturbing behaviour extended to Jack as well, which had to be interesting since the two men had been living together for a little over two years. However, Ianto was his old self with Gwen and Tosh.

Jack had no idea what was causing the sudden attitude change and when he asked Ianto, he would get the passive aggressive attitude that let Jack know he had done seriously wrong and it was up to him to figure it out.

"Do you want another cup or not? I don't have all day to wait for an answer." Ianto said tersely.

"I'm fine. Go do whatever it is you do," Owen grumbled, needing to talk to Jack about this latest incident.

"Suit yourself." Ianto shrugged and turned on his heel, going off to who knows where.

Once Ianto was out of sight and hopefully in the visitor's center (at least that's where Owen hoped he went), Owen stormed to Jack's office. "You've got to tell him, Jack. Enough is enough."

Jack looked up at the sudden interruption. "I can't. It's not the right time." He replied, his face slightly paling.

"You aren't going to be able to hide it for much longer. Plus, I think Ianto is messing with my food and drink. Not to be vulgar, but I've been pissing and shitting the colours of the rainbow for the past two weeks. Tell me, Jack, how are things at home?"

Jack winced. "A bit chilly. I don't know what I've done wrong. He spends most nights on the balcony and only comes to bed after I've fallen asleep." He understated the arctic conditions at home.

Owen shook his head at the daftness. "Umm. You are keeping a major secret from him. Ianto is not stupid. He knows something is going on. Probably thinks there is something going on between us, which would explain his behaviour of late. He's acting like a spoiled child who had his favourite toy taken away and that toy is named Jack."

"I can't tell him."

"Jack, this effects Ianto as much as it effects you. He deserves to know." Owen tried to reason with the most stubborn man on Earth.

Without warning Jack dropped his trousers and looked down at himself. "Have I put on some weight?" He lifted up his shirt, carefully examining his figure.

"A little bit, but that is to be expected. It's nothing obvious unless you are naked." Owen chuckled at Jack's vanity. "You're glowing if that helps." He continued to laugh until he heard ceramic shattering and the office door slam.

"Shit," Jack quickly pulled up his trousers. He knew what Ianto had just seen probably confirmed whatever the younger immortal thought was going on between him and Owen.

"You don't have a choice now. You have to tell Ianto. You got to find him before he changes the locks to your flat. You can do this." Owen reassured Jack. This was the only time in the many years he knew Jack that he needed this kind of help.

Jack's expression was as grim as could be. This was not the way he had wanted to break the news to Ianto, but the situation was out of hand and it needed to be fixed before permanent damage was done to their relationship.

"Oi, scaredy cat. It's not like you are telling Ianto you killed his sister. You two never talked about this before, have you?" Owen snickered, "You think Ianto isn't going to be happy about this. Even I know him well enough to know that is not true. I can tell him for you. It's as easy as saying: Ianto, mate, in seven months you will become a father. Congratulations on impregnating your boyfriend." Of course Owen had to add his own snarky twist. Only with Torchwood did that statement not sound strange.

"What?"

"What?"

"What?"

Three separate voices came over the comm network; all three with varying degrees of shock. The male voice sounded the most shocked of them all.

"Woops. Was my comm open?" Owen feigned shock. "My work here is done. Maybe my body functions can resume normal colours now." A brooding Jack and a jealous, pissed-off Ianto was a dangerous combination that was reaching the point of ignition. All Owen did was diffuse the situation.

When the office door flew open, Owen knew it was time to make his exit. Ianto stood in the doorway, his expression unreadable but the tears in the corner of his eyes said what needed to be said.

"Congratulations, Ianto!" Owen slapped Ianto's back and then made a hasty exit to give the parents-to-be time alone. He knew everything would be just fine when the couple tightly embraced one another as Owen closed the door.

* * *

Once the door was closed, Ianto slowly backed out of the embrace. "I love you, but you are a complete idiot, Jack Harkness."

Jack looked down at his feet, knowing in a few months he would not be able to see them. Then there will be the bloating and constant trips to the bathroom. If he did not love Ianto with all that he was, Jack would not be going through this pregnancy. He was still too scared to admit just how scared he was.

"Look at me," Ianto cupped his lover's chin in his hand and raised his head to look into those captivating pale eyes. "Why would you keep something like this from me?" His voice raised slightly. "You let me think for weeks something was going on between you and Owen. I stomped around like a petulant child, spiking Owen's food and drink with dyes. At home I ignored you because I could not get over that all of the people to cheat on me with, why did it have to be snarky, slimy, ratty Owen?"

"You know you are rather cute when you are jealous."

"Not the point!" Ianto poked a finger hard into Jack's shoulder. "What were you thinking when you thought you couldn't share this news with me?"

Jack sighed and looked like a frightened child, a side he rarely if ever showed. "I was scared. I wasn't sure how you'd react to the idea of becoming a father. We never discussed the possibility of having children. So, I thought it wasn't something you'd want."

"I'll say again. You are an idiot. We've been together for how long now? Did you really think I wouldn't be happy about this?" Ianto shook his head in disbelief and pressed a soft kiss to Jack's lips.

"But I'm your idiot." Jack cracked a slight smile.

"And you will always be." Ianto matched Jack's smile and pulled him in for a deeper, more purposeful kiss.


	8. Across the Miles

**Title:** Across the Miles

**Author: ** **iantojjackh**

**Summary:** Ianto is sent to Glasgow to help organize the archives. One night he and Jack ease the pain of their separation the best way they can. Mostly through text messages

**Rating: **It's Jack and Ianto separated for a week, so M.

**Pairing: **Jack/Ianto

**Warning: **Smut and naughty use of a teddy bear. Blame **badly_knitted** for that one. It was she who put the idea in my head.

**Notes: **Written for **longliveianto**bingo Geographical Isolation prompt. Next in the series of the Long Days and Nights of Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones. The series is not posted in chronological order click here for the master list and timeline of the series.

* * *

**Across the Miles**

**Captain007**: I miss you. When are you coming home?

**TwistedTeaBoy**: Aww. Just how quiet is the rift for you to be saying that?

**Captain007: **Hey, I'm serious here. I really do miss you. It's cold and lonely in this big bed.

**TwistedTeaBoy**: It's cold and lonely in the deep dark night. So can you see paradise by the dashboard light, Jack?

**Captain007: **Have you been drinking?

**TwistedTeaBoy**: Maybe a little. Archie is kind of funny. Smells a little weird too.

**Captain007: **Like wet sheep, right?

**TwistedTeaBoy**: Yeah. You get used to it after a while. The archives here are a disaster. There is no order to them. I could be here a month at the rate I'm going.

**Captain007: **There is no way I'm going to allow that to happen. Glasgow is too far away to have you stay a whole month.

**TwistedTeaBoy**: Are you going to come this weekend for a visit then? That way we can actually see each other.

**Captain007: **If that means I get to see you heavenly body in person I'll be on the first flight there. The first thing I'd do when I get there would be to yell at Archie for allowing his archives to fall into such a state of disrepair.

**TwistedTeaBoy**: Who are you? And what have you done to Jack Harkness? I thought I'd be the first thing you did when you get here.

**Captain007: **I would get the yelling over him stealing the sexiest and most talented archivist ever from me first. Then that way I can have you all to myself for two days and we would never leave the bed.

**TwistedTeaBoy**: When you put it that way, sounds like an excellent plan. So, what would you do to me when you get me into bed?

**Captain007: **I think if I tell you it will be too hot for your phone to handle and will melt in your hand.

**TwistedTeaBoy: **Do you know how clichéd that sounds? Why don't you try me? Talk dirty to me, Jack.

**Captain007: **If you want to play that game, I'd rather we'd talk. Your voice is the best aphrodisiac ever!

**TwistedTeaBoy: **But what if I want to send pictures? That will be difficult if we are talking. The choice is yours, Captain Caliente.

**Captain007: **Hey, what did I say about that nickname?

**TwistedTeaBoy: **Voice or pictures, Jack. What will it be?

**Captain007: **Do I really have to make a choice as hard as that?

**TwistedTeaBoy: **Depends on how fast you want to get hard. Let me make the choice for you.

(Ianto sends a picture of his hip, showing off the boxers he has on)

**Captain007: **Hmm. Why are you still dressed? Though, I love those silk boxers with the coffee beans on you.

**TwistedTeaBoy: **I'm still working in the archives. Archie almost walked in on me with my trousers open.

**Captain007: **That could have been hot if he did. It's almost midnight. You shouldn't be working so late. It will cause wrinkles.

**TwistedTeaBoy: **Like you are one to talk. We are immortal, we don't get wrinkles. Where are you right now?

**Captain007: **In our bed with Mr. Fuzzies.

**TwistedTeaBoy: **Mr. Fuzzies? Do I even want to ask?

**Captain007: **I can show you.

(Jack sends a picture of a teddy bear wearing a three piece suit, sitting on his lap with Jack's erection between its short legs)

**TwistedTeaBoy: **I'm am seriously disturbed right now and with you that takes a lot. Why do you have that bear? Where did you get it? What are you doing to that bear?

**Captain007: **I needed something furry to help me sleep and usually that's your job and since Glasgow is too far for a nighttime cuddle I got Mr. Fuzzies from that store where you can make and dress your own bear in St. David's Shopping Centre. I got him a suit like the one you have too.

**TwistedTeaBoy: **And why does it look like he is using your penis as a pole to dance around?

**Captain007: **I found other uses for him.

**TwistedTeaBoy: **Thanks for that mental scaring. Seriously, why did you dress it like me? Do you know how many different ways of wrong that is?

**Captain007: **I can just close my eyes when I have his paws around me and imagine it is you getting me off.

**TwistedTeaBoy: **You are a sick man, Jack.

**Captain007: **I can make bear porn and send it to Owen. To make up for telling him about his favourite porn star.

**TwistedTeaBoy: **Now that will definitely be considered harassment, sir.

**Captain007: **What about if I send it to you?

**TwistedTeaBoy: **I might question your sanity more than I already do.

**Captain007: **Is that any way to talk to the one you claim to love?

(Jack sends a picture where he his pretending to cry.)

**Captain007: **See what you did to me? You are rolling eyes aren't you?

**TwistedTeaBoy: **You bet I am. Do you want me to kiss and make all better?

**Captain007: **Don't tease me like that.

**TwistedTeaBoy: **Well you can imagine that I'm there and don't use Mr. Fuzzies for help. Imagine me starting at your ear and slowly making my way to your neck.

**Captain007: **That's more like it. Continue, Mr. Jones.

**Captain007: **Ianto? Ianto, where did you go? Did you get the video I sent you?

**TwistedTeaBoy: **Sorry. Archie came in again and I decided to head to my room. If the video is of you with that bear I am making sure, you get your head examined when I get home.

**Captain007: **Ignore the video. Continue where you left off. What will you do when your lips get to my neck?

**TwistedTeaBoy: **I will suck on that spot on your right shoulder where it drives you crazy until you beg me to stop.

**Captain007: **I would never beg you to stop. I love it when you do that.

**TwistedTeaBoy: **It would be a boring night if I just made out with your neck.

**Captain007: **You have two very skilled hands as well. Now that you are in your room, what are you wearing?

**TwistedTeaBoy: **Are we going to play this game again?

**Captain007: **Last time I asked you were 5 metres from me. Now you are now over 600 kms from me. So humour me.

**TwistedTeaBoy: **I'll just send you a picture. I swear you've been such a bad influence on me.

(Ianto sends a picture of himself completely naked. Striking a suggestive pose just for Jack.)

**Captain007: **You make that sound like that is a bad thing. I have an eternity to further corrupt you. And, my love, you are nearly not hard enough. This is what you should look like.

(Jack sends a picture of an impressive erection with the tip glistening with pre-cum)

**TwistedTeaBoy: **You are evil. What I wouldn't do to have that buried deep inside me.

**Captain007: **Just imagine it then. I get us both properly lubed up and first use two fingers to massage your prostate until Big Jack is ready for its ride. First, I'll take short, slow thrusts to tease you.

**TwistedTeaBoy: **Don't stop. Hmmm. That feels really good. FASTER! HARDER! NOW!

**Captain007: **Someone is a bit eager! I love it.

**TwistedTeaBoy: **I've been here almost a bloody week. I really need you or normal human interaction.

**Captain007: **Then your wish is my command, Hub Master. I think it's time that I start to thrust harder and deeper as I reach in front of you and take your cock into my hand. You hard yet?

**TwistedTeaBoy: **Very. Getting close.

**Captain007: **Me too. You feel so good around me.

(Jack sends a picture of his post-coital bliss, where he has one arm on the headboard with a look of extreme smug satisfaction.)

* * *

Two minutes later, Jack's mobile rung and he picked it up quickly. The ring was unique to Ianto's number. "Was it as good for you as it was for me?"

"I'm coming home tomorrow." Ianto said in a rushed tone. Jack could not see the deep red blush spread all over his body, but Ianto was sure there was a lewd comment to be made somewhere if he could.

"Why? Not that I like that idea, but you said earlier it could be a month."

"I got kind of loud and Archie heard me and walked in just as I came. And he has something against masturbation." Ianto wished he could crawl into a hole and hide for a very long time. "Apparently anything else goes, but just not that. Archie said he'd finish the archives himself."

Jack did not bother to try to understand the Scot's reasoning, but at least he was getting Ianto back. "Strange man he is. See you tomorrow then and you can scream as loud as you want."

"I'm never going to live this down, am I?"

"Nope, but I'm going to do my best to make you scream that loud again."

Paste your document here...


	9. One Last Secret

**Title**: One Last Secret  
**Author**: iantojjackh  
**Summary**: Ianto had one last secret from his life in London and it's about to be blown wide open  
**Rating**: PG  
**Characters/Pairing: **Jack/Ianto, Martha, Francine Jones, Female OC  
**Word Count**: ~3.8K  
**Beta**: None. Flew solo on this one  
**Notes**: Next one shot belong the Long Days and Nights of Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones series. The series is not posted in chronological order visit my journal for the master list and timeline of the series. Also, this is a fill for longliveianto bingo 'Secrets and Lies' prompt.

* * *

**_One Last Secret_**

It was their last day in London after three days of what Jack called living hell. Ianto called it what it was; a UNIT conference on planetary and temporal defence. Originally, Jack had been the only one summoned to the conference but he came up every excuse possible except for the truth to get Ianto to attend the conference. The truth being that Jack did not want to be away from Ianto for three whole days.

The couple sat in the lobby of the hotel having a pre-dinner drink and making bedroom eyes at each other.

Ianto tutted as he looked at his watch. "Forty five minutes to dinner." There was something else on his mind. Something more pressing and interesting than food.

"Can we just skip dinner and spend the evening in bed? It's my birthday tomorrow. It can be an early gift." Ianto pleaded with Jack. He had pent up energy from the last few days and needed it expelled before he exploded. He slowly undid his tie and hungrily licked his lips.

"We cannot cancel on Martha and her parents. You will be properly spoiled tomorrow." Jack was very tempted to cancel, but knew he couldn't. He got up from his chair and pulled Ianto up by his tie. "But I won't object to having you as an appetiser." Their lips a hair's breadth apart and Jack was the one to close the distance in a long languid kiss.

"Upstairs now," Ianto felt all his blood rush south.

Jack did not need to be told twice and opted not to use the lift to their third floor room. It would be quicker and there would not be the temptation to get frisky in the lift and thereby kicked out of the hotel.

As soon as the door shut, the couple pounced upon each other worse than animals in heat. There was no way they were going to make it to dinner on time.

* * *

Francine Jones looked sternly at her daughter, "Didn't you say Jack was staying at this hotel?" She looked at her watch, noting that he was running almost twenty minutes late. "I'm sorry for the wait, Helen." She turned to her friend that had come instead of her working husband.

"It's alright. Lloyd is working late too so I'm in no rush to get home. Hopefully your friends will be here soon." Helen said in a warm matter. "I hope you don't mind me crashing your dinner."

Martha had a good idea what Jack and Ianto were up to since they went back to the hotel after the conference ended several hours ago. Her mother and friend did not need those details. "The more the merrier. Dad got stuck working late too?" she asked her mother.

"Yes, someone asked him to pick up a last minute shift." Francine nodded. "So I asked Helen to come along."

"So how did you two meet?" Martha tried to make small talk to pass the time.

"At a support group." Helen answered, a sadness clouding her eyes.

"I went to a couple sessions with your aunt after Addy died. Helen lost her daughter that day too." Francine explained. It was still a sensitive topic and the look on Helen's face said how much she missed her daughter.

Martha nodded. "I'm sorry." She knew more of what happened at Canary Wharf from her time with the Doctor. The public was given a very different story from the truth and it was hard having that knowledge and not being able to share.

"Thank you," Helen said stiffly. Every day was a struggle and some days were worse than others. "They were all so young. The day of the attack was my daughter and son-in-law's first day back after their honeymoon."

Martha gasped slightly. "I'm so sorry for your losses."

"My son-in-law survived. We haven't seen or heard from him since the funeral. He just took off. Not sure if he is dead or alive. He was just devastated." Helen started to get a little emotional and shook her head in an attempt to regain her composure. "I'm sorry. It's just so hard some days."

"There is no need to apologise," Martha tried to reassure Helen. "If you are interested in finding your son-in-law, the two men coming should be able to find him." She figured if anyone kept track of Canary Wharf survivors it would be Torchwood.

"Really?" Helen's eyes lit up at the idea. "That would be great. I've tried for years and couldn't find anything. How do you think your friends will have more luck?" She really tried everything and failed.

Martha looked to her mother for a second, not knowing what explanation to give. "If anyone kept records on the survivors they would be the ones to have them."

"I've been so worried about him. I hope he is okay. Look at me. I've gotten myself into a right state." Helen blotted away the tears that she just realised had fallen. "Excuse me. I've got to freshen up." She stood up and Francine did as well.

"Wait, Helen, I'm going to join you." Francine wanted to make sure her friend was okay. She usually avoided bringing up Helen's only child. It was a pain that a parent never could recover from and the one connection to her daughter was missing with Helen always imagining the worse for the young man.

Martha sighed when the two woman where out of sight and took her mobile from her purse, getting ready to call Jack and see what was keeping him and Ianto when she heard the immortal's unmistakable boisterous laugh.

"It's about time you two. Couldn't you have waited a bit?" she teased the men who could not tear their eyes from each other. Martha still managed to give each man a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Birthday boy has been feeling randy all afternoon," Jack slid an arm around Ianto's waist, stopping for a quick buttock pinch.

"I didn't hear you complaining. We are sorry for being late. I hope your parents aren't too upset." Ianto said sincerely, straightening his tie a bit.

"It's your birthday?" Martha asked. "My dad couldn't make it, so my mom brought a friend."

"Tomorrow, actually. Just starting the celebration a little early," Ianto winked at Jack and removed Jack's hand from his waist and placed it into his own hand.

"The first of thousands of birthdays to come," Jack lowered his voice do no one overheard.

Martha eyed the men carefully, waiting to see if it was some kind of joke. When there was no indication that it was, she motioned for the men to sit at the table. "How is that possible?"

"Blood transfusion." Jack explained.

"Weevil took a big bite out of my neck." Ianto continued.

"Did you know that would happen?" Martha was intrigued.

"No. Our bloods types are compatible. Was only trying to keep Ianto alive." Jack said with a grim expression.

"It didn't work...at least not in the way he had expected. I think I almost gave Owen a heart attack when I woke up." Ianto smirked. "Now I'm stuck with him forever...literally."

"Is that a complaint I hear? Hey, I'm easy to live with. You are the difficult one."

"You could always move out."

"Not a chance. Like you said you are stuck with me and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Neither would I."

"Okay, I'm going to stop the two of you right there." Martha watched as both men had their hands slowly moving up the other's leg, enjoying their playful banter. "You both seem really happy."

"We are," both answered at the same time, the deep bond they shared obvious to anyone watching them.

"Does this mean we are going to have a wedding soon?" Martha teased and laughed when she saw both men's horrified reactions. "Not ready for that step yet?"

"No," Ianto croaked. "We only moved in together two months ago. Definitely not ready for that. Happy just the way we are." It was a good thing Jack nodded in agreement and laced their fingers together.

"How about a change of topic." Martha relaxed when they did not seem upset. "By chance do you keep track of the Canary Wharf survivors?"

Ianto choked and cleared his throat. His face going slightly paler than normal.

"Talk about a topic change." Jack commented. "No we don't. Unless you count Ianto. But my reason for tracking him are far from innocent." he turned to Ianto.

"You were there?" That news shocked Martha.

"I really don't like talking about it." Ianto's eyes glazed over and he looked away. It was not so much what happened that day that haunted him, but the after.

"Ianto?"

The voice made Ianto's back stiffen and his throat turn dry as a desert. He was glad Jack stood between him and the woman. "Helen?" Ianto barely managed to get the name out.

Jack looked between his lover and the woman who obviously knew him. "You know each other?" Then he noticed Ianto looked decidedly like he was about to be sick. "You okay?" his worry for the younger man obvious.

"Ianto is my son-in-law." Helen nudged Jack out of the way in order to hug Ianto. "Where have you been? Lloyd and I've been so worried about you. Why did you just leave after the funeral? You never picked up the rings or pictures from the wedding."

Ianto felt the look Jack was giving him. His face did not show it, but Ianto knew there was hurt and betrayal behind the straight face.

"I don't know. I just ran and continued to run." Ianto kept the lies coming. There was no way he was going to break Helen's heart all over again with the truth. Only the members of Torchwood Three knew the savage truth. "I've been living in Cardiff," he squeaked out as the tight hug was robbing him of his breath.

"You must be Lisa's mum," Jack held out his hand. She'd better be Lisa's mother or Ianto would have much more explaining to do than he already did. Jack thought they had worked past all their secrets, but Ianto had kept a whopper of one. He had hoped the son-in-law thing was just the way she thought, but the word wedding killed all that.

"Yes and you are?" Helen let go of Ianto who looked like he was ready to cry or run or maybe both. He was deathly pale and shaking like a leaf.

"Captain Jack Harkness." Jack held out his hand to shake. He turned an icy glare to Ianto, who looked like he might have a nervous breakdown any second, but Jack was too angry to play the concerned boyfriend.

"Helen Hallett," she tentatively shook Jack's hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Are you okay, Ianto?" Martha asked as she watched the Welshman flop into his chair and rub the bridge of his nose.

"Headache." Ianto said softly. "Been bothering me all day," he lied.

This was the one secret he thought would keep long buried after everything that happened with Lisa at the hub. At the time he did not think they would care if she was his girlfriend or wife, all they saw was the thing that tried to kill them. After a while, it was easier not to bring her up anymore. No one wanted to be reminded of that day and in the end Lisa did not even...it was just easier for everyone to think she was his girlfriend.

"The pleasure is all mine," Jack turned on the charm and kissed Helen's hand. So what if he was flirting with his lover's ex-mother-in-law? Martha and Francine would see it as his normal charm, but his vindictive side wanted to see Ianto squirm a little. When Ianto's mouth slightly dropped, Jack started to behave. Moreover, he believed Helen was blushing a little and Martha was the only one who knew he and Ianto were together. He was hurt that after all this time Ianto never confided this important detail to him and when Jack was hurt, he got vindictive.

"Oh, my. Aren't you the charmer?" Helen smiled at the handsome man, flattered by his flirting. "How do you two know each other?"

"I'm his boss and we are flatmates too." Jack continued the act with Ianto being the only one to know the true intent behind his words and maybe Martha had an inkling.

Ianto looked to Martha for assistance, hoping she could get Jack to stop twisting the knife into his gut. For Jack to make it clear he was the boss and adding the flatmates line, the nervous man knew their blow out later was going to be big. Sweat trickled down Ianto's brow as Jack's words lashed like a burning whip on his skin.

Martha sat back and watched the scene unfold and assumed Jack thought better of letting Helen and her mother know he and Ianto were a couple.

"Martha, dear," Francine turned to her daughter. "Why don't we give Helen and Ianto some privacy?" Her gaze extended to Jack as well. She knew this had been the moment Helen had been looking forward for years and who knew it was so close all this time.

"All right," Jack stood up, his face indifferent. "I plan on heading back to Cardiff early in the morning. Let me know by then if you are coming with me or going back on your own."

Ianto tilted his head to look at Jack, letting him see the pain his words caused. Sure, he had kept a huge secret, but this was one time Ianto really needed the support of the man he loved. "I'll let you know." His tone was even, with a slight hint of pain and disappointment.

"It was great meeting you." Jack continued to flirt slightly. "Perhaps we shall meet again some day?" He kept up the act and kissed Helen hand before flouncing off as he always did so well.

"He is certainly rather interesting character." Helen was still a bit flustered by the attention.

"That's Jack for you." Ianto said dryly as he rubbed his head. Now he really had a headache that felt like a stake being driven through his skull.

"Lloyd and I have been so worried about you. We thought the worst happened to you and we had no way of finding you. We tried looking." Helen hovered and fussed, but sensing the annoyance from Ianto.

"Sorry." Was the only word Ianto could offer. Having access to Torchwod's mainframe, made it easy to give the appearance he had vanished. Ianto had done that when he started at Three because he did not want anyone to interrupt his plans to save Lisa.

"You look well. What have you been up to?"

"Thanks," Ianto allowed a slight smile. "Work mostly. The job keeps me very busy. How about you and Lloyd?" He wanted to leave to explain everything to Jack, but Ianto knew he could not leave Helen. She was owed an explanation, but he did not know what exactly to tell her.

"We've been doing well. Some days are harder than others." Helen said softly. "You shouldn't be working so hard. It isn't good for you," she reached across the table and squeezed Ianto's arm.

"It comes with the job. I don't mind it." Ianto spoke honestly.

"And sharing a flat with your boss? Isn't that a little odd?" Helen had no issue sticking her nose into her son-in-law's business.

Ianto inwardly groaned that Jack said they lived together, knowing Helen would hit the roof if she knew the said flat he and Jack shared only had one bed. "Not really," he replied.

"I still miss Lisa so much some days."

"I do too," Ianto said softly, reaching for Helen's hand. "I'll never stop loving her." It was the truth and there would always be a place for Lisa in his heart. Just because he was with Jack now, it did not mean Ianto had to forget about Lisa.

"You shouldn't be a stranger anymore. Call once in awhile and let Lloyd and I know you are okay. You are still family and we've missed you." Helen sadly looked over at Ianto. She was happy to hear that Ianto still loved her daughter.

"I will. I promise, but some times the job gets so busy." Ianto froze when he saw the stern glare from his mother-in-law.

"I don't want to hear that excuse. I can talk to that boss of your and make sure he doesn't work you so hard. Is that why you were late, Jack had you working?" Helen had always enjoyed fussing over Ianto when she learned of his difficult upbringing.

Ianto turned a deep shade of scarlet and his voice cracked slightly, "Not exactly."

"Are you happy, Ianto?" Helen asked, rubbing the man's arm. "Lisa would want that for you. To be happy."

Ianto nodded and smiled. "I'm happy. Things are going really well for me. For a while after losing Lisa I didn't think I could go on, but I had help with those dark days." The person he betrayed to most to help Lisa was the one who picked him up and carried him through the days he did not want to live and that same person was now going to be by his side until the end of time.

"Good. I'm glad for that." Helen said genuinely happy for Ianto.

The two continued to talk for several hours, talking about everything and nothing. Ianto was relieved that Helen did not seem upset that he was involved with someone; of course, he neglected to mention it was the flirty man who left the table earlier.

After saying his goodbye to Helen and making a promise to keep in touch, Ianto dreaded heading back to his and Jack's room. He was too tired for the fight that was bound to occur behind closed doors. Ianto wanted to be mad at Jack for his obvious flirting with Helen, but he felt he had no right because of the secret he had kept.

Ianto let out a small sigh of relief when Jack looked sound asleep on the bed and quickly grabbed a change of clothes before heading to the en-suite to change. After washing up for bed, Ianto returned to the bedroom several minutes later and carefully crawled into bed as to not disturb the sleeping man.

"No kiss goodnight?"

"I'm too tired for a fight to tonight. Can we pick this up in the morning, Jack?" Ianto turned away from Jack, taking some of the covers with him and hiding the hint of tears in his eyes. Talking to Helen stirred up some long buried emotions and a he did not want to be yelled at.

"I don't want to fight, Ianto. I just wonder why you never told me something so important," Jack's voice showed no hint of the anger her had earlier.

"You were flirting with Helen. Do you have any idea how many different kinds of wrong that is?" Ianto wanted to avoid this conversation until he was less grumpy.

"I was hurt by being blindsided by the news." Jack said honestly. He knew better than to ask why any hints of his marriage did not show up in Ianto's personnel file. "Then I thought long about why you never said anything and I realised it didn't change why you tried to help Lisa or how you felt about her and it definitely doesn't change how I feel about you." Jack slid his arm around over Ianto and tried to pull him closer despite Ianto's resistance.

"Ten days," Ianto said barely above a whisper after several long moments of silence.

"What?" Jack asked as he moved so Ianto was between him and the mattress using his hands to prop him several inches above his partner.

"That's how long we were married before the attack on Canary Wharf. That day was our first day back after our honeymoon. I didn't say she was my wife because some else went wrong in the conversion and Lisa lost her last seven months of memories before the attack. She didn't remember getting engaged or married so what was the point of saying anything?" Ianto barely choked back a sob that caught at the back of his throat.

"Because it is important to you. I know everything was far from okay for a while after that night in the hub, but you could have said something any time once things got serious between us." Jack said soothingly as he lowered his head and gently kissed Ianto's tears away.

"It was easier to forget like Lisa did." Ianto reached up and hooked his arms behind Jack's neck. This was not the way he expected this conversation to go, but was glad Jack chose to go the understanding boyfriend route.

"Come here," Jack rolled over, pulling Ianto into his arms. "Most important for you to remember is that I love you and nothing and I repeat nothing will ever change that. I'm in this with you until the end of time or until we can't stand each other anymore, but I'd prefer the first one."

"Ask me again in a thousand years how I feel about you," Ianto said with a wry smirk. "I still miss her and there is a part of me that will always love Lisa. Some times I do wonder what would have happened if we came back one day later. Lisa would never have died. Would we still be together? Then I would not have met you and have this life with you. I wouldn't change us for anything. Yeah, I just think too much." Ianto flushed several deep shades of red.

Jack laughed and nodded in agreement, "You do, but it's who you are." He placed a playful kiss on Ianto's lips. "Tell me about your life with Lisa. What was she like before?" This was a conversation that was long overdue and Ianto's words from that night haunted him 'I clear up your shit. No questions asked and that's the way you like it. When did you last ask me anything about my life?' Even after everything, no one bothered to ask him about the Lisa she was before that horrific day in London.

At first Ianto was hesitant but after a reassuring nod from Jack, he began, "We met at university. I was moving into a new residence hall…"

And they talked for several hours, Jack interrupting to ask questions and add his own anecdotes. He also told Ianto about Lucia and their daughter, whom he lost contact with over the last several years. The morning light was starting to peek through when both were sufficiently exhausted and sleep was quickly dragging them to their depths.

"Happy birthday," Jack whispered as he put his hand over Ianto's heart and let himself succumb to the dream world with Ianto following almost simultaneously.


	10. Measuring Tapes Never Lie

**Title**: Measuring Tapes Never Lie  
**Author**: **iantojjackh**  
**Summary**: When the rift is quiet the team goes stir crazy and a secret is revealed.  
**Rating**: High R, not quite NC-17  
**Characters/Pairing**: Jack/Ianto, the rest of team Torchwood  
**Spoilers**: None  
**Warning**: Some sexually suggestive themes  
**Notes**: Part of the series of the Long Days and Nights of Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones. The series is not posted in chronological order visit my journal at LJ (username is the same) for the master list and timeline of the series. Also, this is a fill for **longliveianto** bingo's Hobbies prompt.

* * *

**_Measuring Tapes Never Lie_**

Ianto typed furiously at the keyboard, hoping to pass the time as he resigned himself to the tourist office on this cold December day. His method of choice to cure the boredom was to finish the latest chapter of his online romance/pornographic novel featuring General Jacob Hackett and his younger lover Ryan Smith. Of course, Jacob was not a real general; at least not anymore.

Ianto thought this was better than being in the hub with the bored lunatics, better known as his friends/colleagues all lead by the supreme nutcase also known as Ianto's other half. At times like this Ianto liked to think of himself as the better half. A silent rift made the Torchwood denizens stir crazy and by the third day of acquiescing to the whims of everyone else, Ianto began to view his fellow Woodies as escapees of an asylum. Referring to them as Woodies was a clear sign that he was becoming more like Jack everyday. People said the longer a couple are together the more they become alike, but in this case it was only one way. Jack was not becoming like him in the least bit. Hell, he was writing about his and Jack's sexual exploits under a pen name untraceable back to him. The followers of his story even thought he was female, writing under the name ToniaJ.

Ianto liked to blame his life changing blood transfusion three months ago, but he had started writing this story a year ago. So perhaps becoming immortal had not corrupted Ianto's mind as much as he liked to blame that as the turning point. He knew he was just as crazy as the rest, but he did his best to look like the picture of perfect propriety.

Forty minutes later, Ianto was satisfied with his latest creation and he published his latest work to Tonia's online journal.

* * *

Gwen squealed when she got the email she had been waiting for a very long time. "Tosh, it's here," she called out, drawing odd looks from Jack and Owen. The update to her and Tosh's guilty pleasure had finally arrived.

"What?" Tosh looked up confused until she saw Gwen intently staring at her computer screen. "Oh," her face rounded into a smile as she checked her email. "I thought the next chapter would never come. It's been almost a month since the last chapter. I wonder what took her so long?"

"What are you two talking about?" Jack was looking for anything to cure his boredom and with Ianto in the tourist office that was not going to happen easily.

"A story we are reading," Gwen answered, not looking up from the screen and all but dismissing any other questions.

Owen was interested in what had the women acting like a vapid teenagers. He swore that Myfanwy would fly past them and they would not take notice and he proved that point when he started to read over Tosh's shoulder, an act that usually resulted in him being yelled at.

Owen's mouth hung slightly agape as he read what was on the screen:

_Ryan stepped out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist. Beads of water dripped from the young man's wet hair onto his toned chest. The bedroom was too quiet and that only one thing: Jacob was up to no good._

_That was confirmed seconds later when a muffled cry and loud crash came from the next room. At first Ryan was concerned, but he found himself stifling a laugh when he saw the predicament Jacob had created for himself._

_"Do I even want to know why your dick looks like a candy cane?" Ryan asked with a raised eyebrow._

_"It's a Tuggie and now I can't get I off," Jacob winced. "One size fits all doesn't fit me," he looked down at his semi-hard cock which was bulging in its polyester sleeve._

_"Does it hurt?" Ryan helped his lover up and his gaze fell to the striped fabric. He fought the temptation to run his fingers down the hard length. There was a slight grin as the tip of the fabric was wet from leakage from Jacob's engorged penis._

_Jacob groaned as he got harder under Ryan's lustful gaze._

"Wait! Hold up. What the hell is a Tuggie?" Owen found it hard to believe what he was reading could actually happen or why Gwen and Tosh found this stuff entertaining.

Jack's ears perked up at the question, "It's this kind of sock thing for your penis."

"Why am I not surprised that you know that. Let me guess you own one?" Owen regretted opening the door for one of Jack's incredulous tales.

"Had a bit of problem with it fitting. Ianto had to have it cut off," Jack winced at the memory from less than a week ago. "The Tuggie, not my penis," he added in case there was any confusion.

"Kind of figured. So stuff like this really happens?" Owen shook his head at the screen.

"Like what?" Jack moved behind Gwen and read over her shoulder, his face a mix of emotions. He was not sure if she should be upset or flattered. "Are there more stories like this?"

"Plenty. There are about thirty chapters," Gwen explained, navigating to the table of contents.

"What's Measuring Tapes Never Lie about?" Jack gripped the back of Gwen's chair, gritting his teeth.

"Well...umm...twenty-two centimeters. Sheep measuring tape and lots of hot and steamy moments," Gwen responded feeling quite flustered as she recalled the most erotic chapter to date. After the initial read Gwen found herself in great need of a very long and very cold shower.

"Does it also involve," Jack scanned the document for the names, "Jacob finding Ryan's diary?"

"Yes. You can read the rest for yourself," Gwen pushed away from her computer to give Jack easier access to it.

"It's okay. I have an idea of what happens. Who is this ToniaJ person that wrote these stories?" Jack headed toward his office to find the perfect punishment to use on the author.

"We don't know who she is. All I was able to find out that she lives in Cardiff," Tosh replied and her eyes widened when Jack came back holding a pair of handcuffs, a fur lined paddle and something that looked like a feather duster.

"I think I have a good idea where to find her," Jack emphasized the last word. "If you hear any screaming just ignore. I'm going to give Tonia some new material to work with." The salacious grin made everyone a bit uneasy. "Ryan's ass is going to be sore for quite some time." Jack winked before he disappeared through the cog doors.

The next day, Ianto moved carefully through the hub, unable to sit down but he and Jack wore matching satisfied grins all day. After lunch Tosh walked in on Jack rubbing aloe on Ianto's backside and quickly retreated before the men noticed her watching.

Three days later a new chapter was posted to ToniaJ's story about Ryan being spanked raw by Jacob and Jacob being brought to climax by a feather tickler.

**_The End_**


	11. A Walk in the Park is Never Just a Walk

**Title**: A Walk in the Park is Never Just a Walk in the Park  
**Author**: **iantojjackh**  
**Summary**: A day in the park turns out to be so much more  
**Characters**: Ianto, Jack, Rhiannon & OFC (child)  
**Rating**: PG  
**Beta**: **timelordshines**  
**Warnings**: None that I'm aware of.  
**Spoilers**: None. This is an AU and part of my immortal!Ianto series  
**Notes**: Part of the Long Days and Nights of Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones.

* * *

**_A Walk in the Park is Never Just a Walk in the Park_**

"Auntie Rhi, watch this!" Brynn Harkness-Jones yelled to her aunt from the top of the climbing frame. She pushed her light brown, wavy hair from her face with a determined look on her face.

"Brynn, don't climb so high." Rhiannon rushed toward her niece when she saw how far far up the five year old was. She wondered where the limitless energy of the child came from at times. Mica and David were not this active when they were Brynn's age and now they usually bowed out after twenty minutes of spending time with their cousin these days.

"It's fine. I know what I'm doing." Before Rhiannon could react, Brynn took a huge leap from the frame.

Rhiannon tried catch her niece, but her reflexes were too slow and Brynn landed feet first on the ground. There was a loud snap and the child fell over, crying in pain.

'Fuck.' Rhiannon muttered to herself as she saw Brynn's ankle turned in an unnatural position. There was already severe swelling and some bruising. All clear signs pointing to a bone broken.

She did her best to calm the hysterical child, but nothing worked. Rhiannon knew Ianto and Jack were going to be upset for letting harm come to their precious angel. Never before did she ever see two strong men so whipped by a little girl. Brynn clearly was the ruler of that household.

"I want my Daddies." Brynn wailed hysterically. "Get them here NOW!" The child demanded through her crying which was starting to draw some stares.

Rhiannon tried to soothe her niece, but every time she touched Brynn the child would scream louder, demanding her parents. She swore there was a Welsh curse thrown in somewhere.

By now a small crowd had gathered and a doctor stepped from the crowd, trying to offer his assistance. "It's okay. I'm a doctor. I called for help for your daughter. They should be here shortly. Is it okay if I take a look at her leg?"

Rhiannon nodded as tears pricked the corner of her eyes. "Please help my niece. Brynn, sweetie the nice man is going to look at your leg."

"No!" Brynn screamed like a feral animal. She threw herself back against the ground, crying and hitting her head against the mat. "Where's Daddies? Want Daddies. Not you."

"I'm calling them now." Rhiannon's hands were shaking as she hit the speed dial to call Ianto's mobile number. She had no idea how she was going to break the news to the overprotective parents.

* * *

Ianto was half buried under the sink in the Hub's kitchen when he heard his mobile ring. "I know you are just standing there and staring. Can you get my mobile and answer it?"

"Oh, a free feel up," Jack said with a wolfish grin. "You don't even need to ask." He bent down and reached into his partner's front pocket, taking a second to cop a quick feel before fetching the phone.

"Hello, you reached the mobile of the man with the world's sexiest arse. How can I...ow, why did you kick me?" Jack reached down and rubbed his shin where Ianto had landed a very hard kick.

"Jack, it's Rhiannon. There's been an accident."

"An accident? What happened? Is Brynn okay?" Jack said with a twinge of fear, assuming the worst. The fear and panic in the woman's voice was very unsettling.

As soon as he heard Jack say the word accident, Ianto was out from under the sink, panic starting to set in.

"She jumped from the climbing frame at the playground and broke her ankle. Someone called for an ambulance, but she is crying for you and Ianto." Rhiannon looked back at Brynn who was still giving the doctor a hard time.

Ianto glared at Jack, frustrated that he had not been clued in on what happen. "What's going on?"

The worried father pulled the phone away from his ear. "Our little daredevil decided to play acrobat and broke her ankle."

Jack returned the phone to his ear. "Where are you?" He nodded as Rhiannon told him where they were. "We're on our way. Tell Brynn we love her and we'll be there as fast as we can."

The concerned parents ran from the Hub as fast as they could, not exchanging any words. They knew panic would take over once the first word was spoken. It was an agonising ten minutes to the park where Rhiannon had said her and Brynn were.

When Jack and Ianto arrived at the park they were greeted with a site they did not expect; Brynn was sitting on a bench next to her aunt, eating an ice cream cone, looking like nothing was wrong.

The moment the young girl saw her parents, Brynn dropped her cone and ran into Jack's arms. "Daddy!" she squealed throwing her arms around Jack the second he picked her up.

Ianto looked between Rhiannon and Jack. He wondered how Brynn was running on a broken ankle and what happened to emergency services that had been called. "Brynn, baby, how are you feeling?" he rubbed Brynn's back.

"I hurt my leg and now it's all better." Brynn stretched her arms out, wanting to be held by Ianto.

Jack and Ianto exchanged panicked looks, not expecting this turn of events.

Ianto held the five year old while Brynn rested her head on Jack's shoulder. "My Daddies. They're all mine."

"No way."

"You don't think?"

"Couldn't be."

"Blood transfusion did it for me."

"Pregnancy might have passed it to her."

Rhiannon looked between the men and their half conversation that only they could understand.

"They do this A LOT!" Brynn told her auntie. "Silly Jack. Silly Ianto," she gave each of her parents a serious glare as if they were misbehaving.

"Do not." The men spoke at the same time.

Brynn gave Rhi an 'I told you so' look.

"Hold it right there," Rhiannon raised her voice slightly. "Can I be clued in on your conversation? Brynn's ankle was broken and now it's fine and something tells me both of you know why."

"It's a rather long story."

"It began about three years before Brynn was born."

"There was an accident one night."

"It wasn't an accident."

"I like calling it an accident. Accident sounds better."

"I was attacked by a vicious animal.".

"He lost a lot of blood."

"We have compatible blood types."

Rhiannon rolled her eyes at the finish each other sentences routine. "What does this have to do with why a broken ankle healed in ten minutes?"

"You wouldn't believe us if we told you," Ianto knew the truth was probably the most outlandish thing his sister had ever heard.

"Try me." Rhiannon challenged the men.

"I think we should go to some place more quiet." Ianto looked around, showing a crowded park was not the place to have this conversation.

"I want to walk," Brynn whined as she squirmed in Ianto's arms until she was put down.

Satisfied that she had got her way, Brynn took both her Daddies' hands and waited for them to move.

There was a small coffee shop not far from the park that offered a good deal of privacy. After the drinks were bought the group took the table that was furthest from the other occupied ones to make sure no one would overhear something they should not.

"What is so important that we had to leave the park?" Rhiannon looked to her brother and his partner for answers.

Ianto stared down at his cup of coffee and took a deep breath before addressing his sister. "Something happened to Jack way before I met him and when I got a transfusion of his blood eight years ago he passed it on to me. Now Jack and I assume that it was passed onto Brynn when Jack was pregnant with her."

The only thing Rhiannon got from what Ianto just said was Jack and pregnant. "Wait! What? Okay, you two stop pulling my leg," she looked bewildered at the two men. hehe

"This kind of news never goes over well," Jack smirked at Ianto before explaining to Rhiannon about where and when he came from.

Rhiannon sat listening in disbelief, not sure which of them was crazier; Jack for coming up with such a ridiculous tale or Ianto for going along with it.

"Trust me the last two months of his pregnancy Jack was nearly impossible to live with. Don't deny it," Ianto held up his hand to halt any protests from his other half.

"Maybe I was slightly difficult to live with," Jack allowed as he took Ianto's hand into his. "Besides does it look like either of us have aged in the last eight years? I haven't aged one bit since the 1860s."

"How does all this craziness tie into why one minute Brynn's ankle was broken and the next it was fine? It takes months for a bone to heal," Rhiannon was not sure if she believed the insanity, but Ianto and Jack believed it true and the weird was their domain.

"None of us can die," Ianto started to explain.

"That's not entirely true. We can die, but we just don't stay dead."

"It also means we won't age and as you saw today there is also rapid healing," Ianto finished for Jack.

If Rhiannon had not seen the healing for herself she would have thought they were having fun at her expense. "Why would you choose this kind of life? Does that mean you will live forever?"

"None of use chose this, but..." Ianto was quickly interrupted by his sister.

"You purposely did this to him without his consent!" Rhiannon raged at Jack, her face red and her fists clenched.

"No! It was not like that!" Jack snapped.

"None of us had any idea that a blood transfusion would pass on Jack's immortality. Don't yell at him." It was Ianto's turn to yell and have his face turn red.

"I was only trying to save Ianto's life after he was hurt. He had lost a lot of blood. He was dying and I could not lose him." Jack did not like to remember that fateful day. It was still painful for either man to watch their partner die even if they knew they would eventually revive, but that day the grief was real and Jack never wanted to feel that level of helpless and despair again.

Ianto knew that day was still painful for Jack to remember despite how far they had came in those eight years and all he could offer was a small smile and a comforting squeeze of Jack's hand. "But I had lost too much blood and transfusions of mine and Jack's blood didn't work. I should have died that day eight years ago but I'm still here because of him. You should be thanking Jack instead of blaming him." Ianto finished, glaring at his sister.

"No yelling at Daddies," Brynn yelled holding onto Jack for dear life, clearly upset by all the shouting. "Shut up!" the girl continued to rage, her face contorting into a scary rage directed at her aunty Rhiannon.

Suddenly, Rhiannon felt very exhausted and let out a large yawn. "Excuse me. I don't know what's come over me." She missed the shocked look Jack gave Ianto as Rhiannon could barely keep her eyes open.

"You retconned your sister?" Jack did not know if he should be scared or impressed.

"I had no choice. There is no way she is ready to handle our secret. Rhi has loose lips when she drinks. Who knows who she'll tell when she has one too many one night." Ianto said with a cold detached shrug. Brynn's safety and well-being took precedent over everything and if drugging your sister was part of that, Ianto was not beneath it.

"You bastard!" Rhiannon's eyes flashed with an anger never experienced before. "You drugged me. Why?"

"If people know about us, they can use it to their advantage. We can't have that. No one, I repeat no one is going to use my daughter." Ianto reached out and eased Rhiannon's head onto the table. "Everything will be okay. You just won't remember the last few hours."

Ianto sighed with relief as his sister fell asleep, knowing she would never be the wiser that her own flesh and blood had drugged her. "Before you ask, I already texted Owen to take care of the doctor that helped at the park. Situation contained," he smoothed out his suit jacket and sipped his coffee as if nothing had happened.

Jack could not fault Ianto for how he handled the situation, even if it was a little scary how emotionally detached he became when dealing with his sister, but since it was for Brynn's benefit Jack knew it had to be done. A parent would do anything to protect their child and Ianto proved just how far he'd go to protect their child.

"You did the right thing," Jack whispered to Ianto, pulling him and Brynn in for a family hug.


	12. Butterfly Wings

**Title**: Butterfly Wings  
**Author**: iantojjackh  
**Summary**: What's so special about 51st century butterflies? A normal day in the Harkness-Jones household.  
**Characters**: Jack, Ianto and little ones  
**Rating**: G  
**Notes**: A triple drabble, yup a triple drabble. Written for tw100 or is it 300 challenge 281: Lepidoptera. Takes place about five years after a Walk in the Park

* * *

**_Butterfly Wings_**

Brynn and Ianto waited patiently for the remainder of the Harkness-Jones to emerge from the bedroom temporarily being used as a dressing room. Well, Ianto waited patiently. The eleven year old, not so much.

"What's taking them so long?" Brynn sighed dramatically.

"The costumes aren't easy to put on," Ianto put an arm around his daughter. "It'll be worth the wait."

"Why don't you have a costume?"

"Because I made them and Tarran asked him to be his partner."

"Ugh... ballet is so boring. Do I have to go to Tarran's show?" Brynn whined, resting her father's shoulder with a pout. "Pretty please, Daddy."

"Yes, you have to." Ianto was about to say more, but he burst into a fit of laughter when Jack and their five year old son came out wearing wings on their backsides.

Brynn hid her laughter in Ianto's shoulder when Jack looked genuinely confused at the outburst.

"Did we do something wrong?" Jack looked confused.

"The wings are supposed to be on your back." Ianto couldn't stop laughing.

"This is how butterflies looked when I was a kid. I think it looks cooler this way, don't you think so, Tarran?" Jack wiggled his buttocks for effect.

"No, not really," Tarran rolled his eyes. "Butt Wings aren't real. I told you so. You're a dork, Dad."

"You remember that far back, Dad? I'm impressed." It clearly had become gang up on Jack day.

Ianto chose to remain silent and only shake his head, not bothering to ask about 51st century butterflies with wings growing out of their arses.

"I'm not a dork!" Jack proclaimed. "I'm not, am I?" He asked his husband for confirmation.

"No," Ianto shook his head, keeping a straight face until he exchanged looks with his children and all three burst out laughing.

* * *

**End A/N:** I'm working on a piece that explains how Tarran became to be if anyone is interested.


End file.
